Lyrics

Ned was a titmouse
Living on the edge
With a puffed-out chest
And a penchant for getting
In over his head

Ned was never a lucky bet
Always drew undue attention
You could even tell by the way that he dressed
That he didn't have a knack for discretion

You could always find him down at the track
Or the magazine concession
Hangin' out with his buddies, shootin' craps
Forever hatching plans
To get his hands on a little scratch

Ned always said
He was just another businessman
Trying to get ahead
To establish his credentials
And if that meant he had to crack a few heads
Well then so much the better

You see Ned had expensive habits
A taste for the extravagant
And a chip on his shoulder
Bigger than Mt. Everest

Viciously ambitious
Ned hungered for respect
But he didn't have the temperament
To suffer criticism
And he never really listened
To the counsel that he kept

Ned was on a mission
But he didn't have it planned
And like so many better men
He found himself entangled
In the loose ends he had left to fester
Thirsting for revenge

Ned was a dead man
Just waiting for the end
But you never would have guessed it
From his actions
He continued to conduct himself
With reckless abandon
Even relishing
The hazards of his circumstance

And when it finally happened
Ned was sitting on the can
In the men's room at the Nuevo Havana
And those who claim to know
Say he took it like a man
His last words being,
"Choke on my banana!"